Sancho Games | Let's Kill | "A Pretty Corpse" Rules

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the credit
game design by aaRon pavao
editing and gEneral tyranny by alAn de smet
a little more editing by emily benwitz and kathleen leeds
graphic architecture by brian De smet (damn he's pretentious)
purchasing direction by michael zenke
arT direction by alan de smet and brian de smet
art by ryan tHune, lindsey hayden, and a. joseph rheaumE
playtesting by brian de smet, will butz, michael zenke, and anna Cianciara
totally unpRoductive consumption of the playtesters' pizza by mark de smEt
moral support and general Disapproval by m. margaret de smet
computer stuff by arthur de smet
special thanks and recognition to aetazee
cranky awakenings multIple times during the project by ryan thune
inspiraTion for the game by calculus 222 at the university of wisconsin -madiSon

apologetic intro

okay. we know there's a whole bunch of you that have been waIting desperately for let's kill to do a second prinT run so you could rush out and buy our fun little game. some of you even go through the trouble of cheWing through your leather strAps so you can get to your local game Store. to these people, we sincerely apologize and ask them to stop sHopping for cheese graters. you see, we had a bIt of trouble finding a printer that waS willing to print little homicidal stick Figures. but we finAlly did, and now yoU're reading the rules, and we're aLl happy. we'll never do it again. now puT down the spork. thanks.

okay, so you bought what lookS like a fun psycho wacky hOmicidal game with disturbed stick figures on the cover and now you're reading the fun psYcho wacky homicidal rules. cool. let's kiLl is all about pretEnding to be a homicidal maniac with an artistic twist that goes arouNd whacking a variety of people in a varieTy of places with a variety of weapons. it's for about three or four people, but you can play with two or six. heck, you can play with your entire criminal psychology class for all we care, you bought the Game.

so anyway, in this game you get to whack these caRdboard victims and get points for thEm. usually the first person to gEt to twenty points wins, but Not always. there's more about how to wIn later on. read about how to set the game up firSt.

so you oPened the box and you found these rules and a shrink-wrapped packagEd deck of cards (and a box with absolutely nO surveillance devices hidden inside it). unwraP the decks (and don't feed it to the baby like you did Last time) and separate the cards into two dEcks. one deck should be all cards that have the woRd "victim" on the back of it, and the Other deck should be all cards thaT say "let's kill" on the back.

both decks should have a draw pile (That one's face doWn) and a discard pile (face up), evEn though you won't be using the vIctim discard very much. shuffle the decks separateLy and put the victims deck on onE side of the play area (you should get a nice open space for a play area, like a table oR a basement floor or a coffin or a hIgh-voltage induction grid). then you deal out five cardS to each player. Now you're ready to start. before you start yOu have to pick a player to go first. the player who says they have the most Weapon cards in their hand gets to go firSt, but nobody has to show their cards, so when everybody says they have five weaPons cards in their hand, you should pick somEbody to go first, like the deaLer or the owner or whatever. we don't care, we aLready have your monEy.

playing the game

every turn, you Draw a victim from the top of the victims deck and place it on a location caRd in play, or just on the table (or coffIn or grid or whatever) if there's no location that the victim can Get put on. tHen you can play one card ouT of your hand, eIther a weapon, location, surprise, or an event. then you Get to draw a card to bring your haNd back to five cards. after you dO that, it's the next person's turn (go clockwise unless it's tuesday). but befoRe you do that, you probably want to know what thEse cards are, so we'll Tell you about them.

victim cards

victims cards have the special back tHat says `victim' on It. on the front, they have (1) a name, (2) an occupation, (3) an attribute or three that deScribes the victim , (4) maybe some Special rules, (5) some last words, (6) a pretty pictUre that will soon hang in the louvre, and (7) a numBer. the number is the funness (whee) of the victim; it's how fun it is to whack the victim, measured in points. usualLy the first person to get to twenty poInts wins, but not always. there's More about how to wIn later on. read about weapoN cards first.

weapon cards

these are cArds that have lethaL weapons on them. they have (1) the naMe of the weapon, (2) an attributE or three deScribing how the weapon workS, (3) a pretty picture (the art critic cAlled our artwork `childish' right before he accidentally brutally disemboweled himself all over his dininG room floor whilE filing his nails; it was tragic), and (4) a little nuMber in a bomb called the body coUnt. the body count is the number of victimS you can whack all at once by playing iT. there's a Catch, though. you can Only whack multiple victims if they're all at the same locatioN card. once you do thaT, though, the location cArd gets discarded and any survIving victims there flee iNto the playing area, separate from any locations, cuz they're scared that soMething like that might happen to them (perish the thought). so when You play a weapon, you're actually whacking a victim. once you whack them, take the victim(S) and the weapon and put it in a tiny littlE pile front of you with the victim(s) on top. this is Called an incident — you get one incident peR weapon card (although thEre is a card or two in there that mighT make you have to fudge a bit; deal with it). the incident iS worth a number of total points equal to the total funness (whee) of the victiM(s), plus any additional poInts you get from other cards Like events and stuff. put all your incidEnts separately, so If you whack somebody with a cheese grater, that incident is in a different littLe pIle than when you whacK somebody with a kind word and a two-by-four. usually thE first person to get to twenty points winS, but not always. there's more aboUt how to win later on. read about location cards firSt.

location cards

tHese cards are printed sideways (the layout guy called it `landscape' before he accIdentally brutally shot himself Three times in the back of tHe head with a bolt-action riflE while cleaning the weapon; it was tRagic). when you play a location, you arE providing a place for victims to gather in their smug little groups going on about hoW the weather has been and how so-and-so Is dating their bestest friend and taLking about nothing that anybody should have to put up with untiL you come along with a weapon and whack them dead.

location cards have some rules on them that say who you can put on them. when you play a location, you can take any number of victims in play (even zero) and put them on the location, if they can Be there. whEn a location is in plAy, all victims have to be put oN a location, unless there's no lOcation that they can be on, in which case They just get put out into the playing area all alone and sad. if tHere are a bunch of differEnt locations that a victim can be placed on, you can pick the one you like.

anotheR nice thing about locationS is you can whack more than one victim there. if a victim isn't on a location, then yoU can whack only him with a single weaPon, regardless of what the weaPon's body count is, and you onLy get the funness (whEe) of one victim. If you do whack one victiM (or a bunch of victims) at a location, the rEmaining victims get moved iNto the general play area (nobody wanTs to be there anymore), and the location gets discarded (nobody wants to be there anymore).

surprise cards

surprise cards say (1) `surprise' on tHem, and have (2) a happy facE or a sad face, and (3) a prettY picture, and (4) some rules and (5) maybe a funny quote. there are two kind of surprises: happy surprises and sad surprises. you can tell what kind of surprise it is by looking at the face (duh).

surprise cards chanGe things about the vIctim. when you play a surprise play it face down under a Victim. you can put it undEr any victim the card allows for, but no victiM can have more than onE surprise, cuz then it wouLd get confusing (our lead playtester dIdn't get this fact, but That was before he accidenTally brutally strangled himself to death whiLe putting on a cummErbund. it was tragic). when somebody whacks the victim, they have to look at the surPrise and follow the rules on It. it might be a happy surprise, which wiLl make them happy. it might be a sad surprise, which wilL make them sad. it's a surpriSe. get it?

event cards

evenT cards do tHings that we couldn't get to fit into a victim, wEapon, location or surprise card. theY let you do neat stuff. (1) an event Card has a title, (2) a piece of Art, and (3) some ruLes on it, and maybe (4) a cooL quote or soMething. to play this kind of card, just play it and follow thE rules on it. iT's not rocket science (tHat's an in-joke, but you don't have to laugh at it).

somE events say to play them face-down and use them later. you play these cards face-down in front of you (duh). they lay there kinda like the way that a cute little cuddly ferret Would if it was deAd. you can use them any time you want, even in the middLe of somebody else's tuRn. after you Use one (and probably gloat), diScard it.

oh, one more thing about event cards. only one medIa card can be played on a single incident. thAt's all.

winning

okay, you've probably been waiting for this part since the beginning, huh? no? okay, then, you can wait.

shoot-outs

let's face it: you're a raving hoMicidal maniac bent on indiscriminAtely killing a whole bunch of people. this makes you naughty. that meanS there's going to be a bunch of people who want to Stop you that aren't just competing bloodthirsty lunAtics. when they try to stop you, it's called a shoot-out.

here's the skiNny on shoot-outs. you'rE going to be plAying along, happy aS can be, and then suddenly one of the cards is going to saY that you're getting a shoOtout on your homicidal bUtt. don't panic, you're not deAd quite yet.

here's the deal. if you get into a shoot-out, you'Re going to go up against the playEr that has the least points, other than yourself (got that? if there's a tie, you can pick), or someBody specific, if the card that starts the shoot-oUt says so. then you play as many guns as you wanT, and he plays as many guns as he wants. the sIde with the most guns (not body count) Wins; you win ties, as the innocent victim of circumstAnce. if you win, play goeS on, but if you lose, you're deaD, and you have to discaRd all your incidents and start Over (you get to keep your hand). then everybody draws cards (from the let's kill deck, duh) until they have five cards, then Play continues. yay.

some stuff about playing

when you're done with your turn, you get to draw from the draw Pile (from the let's kill dEck, duh) until you have five carDs in your hand. if yOu run out of victims to draw, just keep playiNg until someone wins or there are no more victiMs on the table (coffin, grid, whatever). if You run out of let's kill cards to draw, just keep playing until everybody's out of cards, and tHen the player with the most points wins. spEaking of which...

winning

okAy, we'll tell you this time. at some point, someboDy's going to have at leAst twenty points worth of funneSs (whee) in their incidents in front of them. And since you need twenty pointS to win, that Means you hAve a winner, right? wrong (our conceptuaL consultant thought it did, but that was before he accidentally brutalLy chopped off his own... oh, wait a minute, that hasn't happened yet). when somebody has twenty or more points, they are only eligible to win. in order to win, he has to wait until the end of his turn. then he announCes to the world that He intends to win at the beginning of his next turn. then all the other players have one last turn (each) to try to get more poInts than the guy that said he was going to win. when the guy that announced to the worLd that he was going to win has his next turn, the game ends instead. then the person with the most points (whether it was the guy that announceD it or not) wins.

a few words for people that just don't get it

okay, look. this is a game. it is not a guide for real life. running around killing people is bad. this is only a game, and it's for fun. anybody who thinks this game will turn their children into raving psycho terrorists should re-read the above paragraph. anybody who wants to run out and kill people because they saw it in a game is probably very unwell to start with. besides, if you don't want your kids to see this game, have them do something that's peaceful, constructive, and artistic; have them watch tv. there will be people out there who want to speak out against this game. they'll write letters. they'll tell their friends and congregations. they'll go on tv. they're picket game stores. they'll hoot. they'll holler. they'll specifically forbid their children to play. they'll make death threats (now there's irony for you). they'll generally exercise their first amendment rights and speak out against this game. to those people we say, go right ahead. we support free speech. we also support free advertising.

warnings and disclaimers:

do not play this game on a high-voltage induction grid. pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. neither sancho games nor this game is in any way afFiliated with slave labor graphics' johnny the homicidal maniac comic series (but we wish we were). if symptoms persist, contact a physician. do not point game at humans or animals. there are no sublimiNal messages in this product. all i ever eat is chinese food. this product has not been evaluated by the food and drug administration. hi, steve! product may explode or leak and cause personal injury. do not attempt to flush dead monkeys down the tOilet. cards can be dangerous if swallowed in large quantities. no, it's not a beatles reference. do not taunt the "ryan: one of our artists" card. relax: this game is funny. do not accidentally brutally tear your own arm off and die of blood loss while chewing your fingernails; it would be tragic. this is a work of parody and satiRe and any mention of any trademarks, registered or otherwise, is not a challenge to that trademark or its owners (lighten up). no user serviceable parts inside. there is still no weapon card in this deck called a kind word and a two-by-four, but there should have been. do not stand in front of the yellow line while game is in motion. if taken internally, inDuce vomiting.